Kids

So I'm still on a bit of an adrenaline high after the track meet.  It wasn't even a competition...it was a fucking massacre.  LJCDS for the mother fucking win.

I'm so close to breaking the triple jump record....it's a tangible, breathing entity.  I just need to catch it.  6 more inches...come on Kira.

YOU CAN DO IT!

On a less exciting note, it's 8:15 and I still have 2 sections of math homework to do before the test tomorrow.  I haven't opened my history book since last week, and I'm a lab behind in Bio.

8:16

The futility is still a very real and very present force.  I'm scared that what I can do just isn't enough to make any sort of difference.

What if I lose her?  What if something happens that I can't do anything to fix or stop?

It scares me.  It scares me a lot.  Because I don't know what I would do in that situation.  Would I just spend the rest of my life crying and wondering if I could have done more?  Would I follow her into the dark?  Or would I just go numb...empty...what would happen?

8:25

I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.  I can deal with that.  

Random thought...but I really miss playing the piano.  There are so many gorgeous pieces.  To have such a beautiful sound be at the complete mercy of my fingers...I miss that.  I miss that control.  Maybe if I have the time I'll pick it up again.

There's never enough time.

8:29

Sigh.