I'm a cat...I'm a kitty cat. And I DANCE DANCE DANCE

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Bayadere pictures are up. Check them out. Leave funny comments. Tag random objects.

Whatever.

Last, but not least:

R.I.P. Michael Jackson. You've changed the face of dance and music culture. People can say what they want....but you were one talented motherfucker.

And the legend will live on...

<3

I will be the same funky little ball o' quirk when you get back.

We'll get slurpies and we'll go swimming in frigid water for absolutely no good reason.

We'll play way too much Rock Band and Super Smash Bros for our own goods.

We'll go Mrs. Robinson on OFF :-)

Granted, I'll have shorter hair. But the only major change will be less dead cells hanging from my skull in a wave-like fashion.

Now let's MILK THE FUNK!

A New Start

So I'm cutting my hair.

On the surface, it's mundane. It's just a change in appearance. Something stupid to occupy my time.

But I need to change something. I need to get rid of something that ties me to this past year.

Cutting off my long hair that I've had for years will be like breathing fresh open air after years of sucking up oxygen through a straw. It'll cut off something that reminds me of everything that's happened.

It's going to be a new year. Why not face it in a completely new way?

I'll look different. I'll feel different. I'll surprise people.

And Towlie (he now has a new nickname) once said that he liked my hair long (then again, we can't be sure of his sincerity). All the more reason to get rid of it.

Yippee kay yay, mother fucker.

Keep your enemies closer...

Yes.

I spent the day with her.

Maybe I just need to ease back into things. Learn to tune out all of the "I'll always be smarter and prettier and more popular than you" bullshit. Because despite everything, I had a decent time.

I'm still looking forward to spending some real time with the people I really love.

-Hopefully, seeing Transformers tomorrow (maybe enjoying some marshmallows?) with Cylon, Gingerbread, and Wrestlemania

-Going to KL and seeing GG2!!!

-Going to the fair with Cylon, PN Lite, BB McGee, and whoever else

EDC

My mother is being really frustrating.

On top of that, I am COMPLETELY broke. I can't really spend any money on anything at this point.

Fuck.

Bayadere

1. I am so proud of everyone who danced today. We've all spent a lot of time on this production, and that definitely showed. You were all absolutely gorgeous. It was such a pleasure watching you from the wings, and I hope you could all hear me screaming and applauding from backstage.

2. Mealzie, this was your last performance with our studio, and seeing you dance today just made us all realize how much we're going to miss you. You're a bright, incredibly talented girl, and you deserve every bit of success that you'll inevitably see in the future. Come back and visit us! Seriously....I will drag you down from Berkeley if I have to.

3. To everyone who came to see me dance, and to everyone who will endure watching parts of the DVD, thank you. It means so much to me that you're willing to take the time to watch me do what I love more than anything.

This is a bit of a bittersweet night. These performances were everything I could have hoped for, and I got to share that with some of the most incredible people in the world...but I'm already feeling the post-performance blues and nostalgia.

Sigh.

.........

So, I'm having a rather lovely talk with my cousin, Cthulhu.

That's not his real name.

Apparently, his year hasn't been so fantastic either.  Actually, it sounds like it's been pretty fucking fucked up.

1.  He came out as being bisexual to a few of his close friends.  Unfortunately, one of those close friends decided to completely fuck his shit up and he proceeded to tell the entire baseball team, and the news spread like wildfire from there.  His staunchly Republican parents force him to go to a severely Fundamentalist Christian preparatory school.  You can imagine how his teachers and fellow classmates took that declaration.

2.  Throughout the summer and for the first few months of the school year (partly due to the treatment he received upon coming out as bi), he was dealing with an addiction to prescription pain medication and alcohol.  However, he is clean now (as of 04/28/09) and things are looking up in that regard.

3.  Our cousin and his best friend in Arizona, Pager, is still missing.  Her parents have made no further efforts to find her.  They just fucking GAVE UP because they don't want to deal with helping her get past addiction and bipolar disorder.  Cthulhu and I talk a lot, of course, but she lived in AZ, just an hour away from him.  She was readily there for him.  And now she's not.  And nobody is doing anything to get her back.

Hang in there.  You're a strong person.  You always have been.  Your wit and your resilience have always impressed me, and I will always admire you.  

And even if you stumble, I'll be right behind you to catch you, let you breathe, and push you back up again.

Hey...you look mighty cute.

In that Starfleet-issued First Officer uniform.

Seriously.  Since when do the words "Wow...Spock looks like he'd be a really good kisser" pass through my lips?

Thank you, J. J. Abrams/Zachary Quinto.  I'm now in love with a Vulcan.

As you have probably inferred, I just came home from a 7:45 screening of "Star Trek" after being completely shut down from seeing "The Hangover."  In retrospect, that was probably a beneficial twist of fate, as I am near certain that "Star Trek" was more entertaining and more engaging to me than "The Hangover" would have been.

The job hunt continues to be unsuccessful.  However, I am not discouraged.  Ballet is going well and my grades just came in; although I am not overjoyed in any respect, they are decent enough for me to justify feeling unstressed at this particular time.  

Good gentlefolk, life is looking to be alright.

Live long and prosper!

The Chronicles of the Young and Unemployed

1.  I wake up with the voices in my head continuing the chant from the previous night..."yoooooouuu neeeeed tooooo get a joooooobbbbb."  After I go through my daily Interwebs routine (check Facebook, check cracked.com, check questionablecontent.net, check fmylife.com, check textsfromlastnight.com, check the various blogs that I keep up with, check my email), I go to the UTC website and I call the stores that I'm interested in working at.  I glean enough information to decide that I will submit applications to Bath and Body Works, Pac Sun, and Sun Diego.

2.  I go to UTC, armed with resumes, work permit applications, and reference sheets.

3.  I hand in the Bath and Body Works app to the co-manager.  She seems to like me.  Will find out more tomorrow, possibly.

4.  I go to Sun Diego and fill out an app.  It is thoroughly unimpressive due to my complete lack of previous work experience.  But I fill it out anyway.  Probably nothing going to happen in that arena.

5.  I go to Pac Sun.  The woman basically throws an app at my face and turns away without saying word one to me.  When I hand it in, she glances over it, laughs a little, looks up at me, smirks, and turns away without saying word two.  I promptly leave.

6.  Disheartened, I go to Starbucks and do something that I haven't done in almost two years.  I buy myself a Java Chip frappachino and I enjoy it very much.  I am substantially less disheartened.

7.  I go to Bookstar.  I buy $100 worth of books because I feel like it, and because their Stephen King section is truly impressive (not anymore, now that I've bought everything)  Hoorays.

8.  I go home.  I see an ad on craigslist that gives me the idea to submit an app to Coffee Bean.

The application is basically a complete psychological test and criminal background check.  "Many people do things that make me very angry.  Agree or Disagree?   Most people cannot be trusted.  Agree or Disagree?   I have forcibly injured someone during a previous job position.  True or False?"   The Coffee Bean may be

taking itself a little bit too seriously.  But at least I know I wouldn't be working with weirdos.

Tomorrow, I will do the Encinitas circuit.  I'll have more updates then.

THE LIST

1.  Lloyd Pancakes

2.  Reginald Q. Sexoffender

3.  Ronald Huffington Knobgobbler

4.  Commander Flex Plexico

5.  Victor Steel

6.  Stonecrusher Mortlock

7.  Magnus ver Magnusson

8.  Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster

9.  Orifice Schwartz

10.  Private First Class Grundle McBallsonface

If I ever have a son...he will have one of these names bestowed upon him.

To PNLite, GG2, and BB McGee

Just say the word...the brass knuckles are polished and ready to slash somebody's assdouche face.

To SG and Blondie

I don't even know what happened yet.  But something bad happened, and that something was your fault, assdouches.

So until I get a word otherwise, my fists are ready to fly.

You don't like David Banner when he's angry...you really fucking hate me when I'm angry.

Kthnxbai.

With Any Luck...

With any luck, I will have secured a lucrative, minimum wage position at a quaint little ice cream parlour at the Del Mar Fair by this Friday.  I'll earn a bit of extra cash AND I'll get to sneak spoonfuls of hot fudge in between shifts.  Three cheers for actually not sitting on my ass and doing nothing this summer.

And if that doesn't work, I'll probably end up interning for my dad's company up in Orange County-making copies, taking coffee orders, that kind of deal.  Maybe shadow a radiologist for a few days or so.  Sickk.  (I'll have to provide my own hot fudge)

The job hunt, refreshingly, has been the most stressful thing to happen to me since the summer began.  I'm enjoying this.

How Many People Do They Need...How many boys, how many girls?!!?!

So, I am about to embark on a magical journey across the threads of time, space, and human consciousness.

I am going to look for a summer job.

Tomorrow, I will set out on a quest, and I shall not return until I have secured the bountiful treasure of a minimum wage part-time position.  And every speck of that money will go towards the trip to Europe I'm taking with GG2 next summer.  Gonna be lots of shit to buy......which reminds me.  We really should meet up with Mr. Gangsterish in Amsterdam.

I live in the weak and the wounded, Doc.

I should stop watching horror movies after midnight.  

I freak the fuck out of myself.

LIST OF MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED THIS WEEK, MOSTLY AFTER MIDNIGHT

1.  Session 9: A group of guys all slowly driven out of their minds by fear and personal demons in an abandoned asylum?  Sign me up.

2.  Night of the Living Dead: They're coming to get you, Barbara!!

3.  Psycho: He's right...we do all just cluck our thick tongues ohhh soooo delicately.

4.  Pan's Labyrinth: Pale Man is forever burned into my retinas.

5.  The House on Haunted Hill: Ah Vincent Price...you and your suave, creepy mystique.

6.  The Innocents: This marks the beginning of the use of creepy children in ghost movies.

7.  Memento: Not a horror movie persay...but it sure fucks with your head.

Bullshit Post

This is a bullshit post.

Thanks for listening.  Tune in next week for our second installment of our new segment, "Pencil Crayons: The Even More Retarded Second Cousin of the Crayon"

I Like The Buttons...

I'm starting to feel the summer rush right about now...that feeling you get when you look forward and realize that you have no more obligations...you're free.

I went shopping for some more summer shirts.  I'm sure that everyone needed to know that.  The cardigans I bought have reenforced buttons.  Yay.

I thought I would have far more to say at this point.  Lord knows this has been a WEIRD ASS MONTH for me and my friends.  But my insights are getting more and more brusque as the weeks go on.  It's unlikely that I have nothing to say...so I'm going to assume that I just don't know how to give my thoughts justice with the limitations of the English language.

I am, however, quite happy to report that I am no longer upset about my situation with Durden.  Frankly, my friends were right; I've moved on, and I don't particularly miss having him around-I'm used to it.  He was a good friend...but his recent action (or lack thereof) hasn't done much to merit a sense of losing a special part of my life.  Of course, I'm going to be civil.  Perhaps even kind.  But I'm not going to lament his absence.  He can renew the friendship if he so chooses.  But to tell the truth, I'm rather delighted without him.  

This will not define me.