Time to go buy a few hundred yards of electrical tape and cord.
I've moved into competitive hyperdrive.
There's a role that I want. That I really really want. That I'm fighting against some bad odds to get.
But I'm going to read and reread that play hundreds of times. I'll read every single commentative essay I can get my hands on. I'll read every footnote, research every outside reference.
And then I'll do my audition and I'll pray.
I wish I could have the common sense and wisdom to say that I'm not going to get my hopes up, but I can't really help myself when I work this hard for something. Although it is foolish...
The reassurance I've gotten when I ask for an honest answer regarding this issue has overwhelmingly been, "I don't know...I guess you have a decent shot. It's not like you're a BAD actress or anything." The nicest possible way to say, "Sorry sweetie...you're just kind of a mediocre performer. The sooner you figure that out, the less painful this will be for everyone."
Some people are just talented. They don't have to work, they don't have to struggle to earn their recognition.
Lucky bastards.
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