Total number of bruises and cuts on my right leg: 4
Total number of injuries I actually remember happening: 3
This adds up in how many ways?: 0
Am I sleepwalking into thornbush patches every night?
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"This is cancer, right?" Welcome to the one-person support group for life's follies.
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If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.
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The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of blogger.com, Google or any of its affiliates and/or advertisers. In fact, the views expressed here may not even reflect those of me. Everything I say might be bullshit. I could be lying straight to your lazy, dead faces and nobody would be able to tell the difference. Think about it. You're all a bunch of goddamned sheep following whatever shepherd scratches your ears first. Challenge the system. Pose the question "why?" Ask her out. Stop listening to me.
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