I've decided to just say "Fuck it" and hold up the white flag. I'm done with being so viscerally angry that I could flay a grown man alive with my teeth (eww....just think about that image for a second). I'm done with trying to hold back curses and tears whenever I see him or whenever I hear his voice.
Now, it's time to try and fix what can be fixed.
I'm still hurting. A lot of things still hurt. A lot of things still make me angry. A lot of things still make me sad. But with enough work, there will be enough things to make me happy so that the ugly feelings can be offset.
Now all he has to do is take the bait. Just answer your fucking phone. Stop pretending like you can't understand anything I'm saying. Because I'm not going to attack you. I'm not going to rub salt into the wounds.
Just take a chance. Just meet me halfway.
You said that I could call you or talk if I needed anything.
Well I do. And don't you think that it's time for you to keep a promise JUST THIS ONCE?
I want us to be friends again. But I can't fix this alone.
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